I Am god
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In 60 years

grandchild:grandma why are you so bitter??
me:*takes a swig of vodka*
me:*lights up cuban cigar*
me:*gazes out the window*
me:my otp will never be canon
*roll credits*

kindahorngry:

theonyx:

dumbscar:

image

HAVE SOME PENGUINS CHASING A BUTTERFLY

OK THAT IS THE CUTEST THING EVER

OMG AW

(via sunnydandvodka)

ronaldreagay:

f is for friends who abandoned me after 8th grade

(Source: catholicschoolgay, via fake-mermaid)

mcporno:

hello i’d like to hire an assassin? yes the target is me please murder me

(via heart)

maliciousmelons:

my anaconda dont want none unless you got funds hun

(via perks-of-being-chinese)